Why Am I Doing This?

I’m writing because I need to heal.
Because I want to come back to myself.
Because I need to forgive myself for what I couldn’t see when I loved too much.

I want to listen to my deeper self to my hurting soul and let something meaningful rise from this pain.

This is about grieving the parts of me I lost, and treating the process as sacred. Because for me, it was real.

It’s about learning that when you love someone with your whole heart and lose them, the work isn’t just about letting go. The work is about bringing that love back home to yourself. Finding clarity. Finding safety. Believing that good things can happen again from a more conscious place.

I don’t want to turn this into a checklist or a revenge story. I don’t want to write something polished just for the sake of it. What I want is to tell the truth about heartbreak, confusion, and the terrifying process of standing my ground when it feels like the floor has been ripped away.

I want this space to remind anyone reading, and myself, especially, that loving deeply is not a mistake. That compassion and self-respect don’t cancel each other out. That being “almost chosen” doesn’t mean you were unworthy.

I don’t know what this writing will become, but I know I need it. I need a space where my messy, unpolished words can live. I need to remember that even in grief, there’s a chance to rebuild.

So here I am. Writing.
Not perfectly. Not neatly. Just honestly.

S..